Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
