I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
