Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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