is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
