life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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