Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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