Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
