But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i came on her dog
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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