...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
bring money and cleavage
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
