He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
