I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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