you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
