I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
