I am spending my child support on dildos
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Floor bacon is actually really good
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
