TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I am available for nakedness
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
