He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
