So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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