I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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