were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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