alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
