He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
