if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
