If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
