We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
