SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
