you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize