are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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