just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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