marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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