then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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