it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
