she woke up with a sticky ear
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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