so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
this boner is exhausting
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
