go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
