Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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