I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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