are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
