hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
