Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It's just like the Real World with babies
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
