The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
