HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize