And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize