i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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