My balls are so social today.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
