But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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