Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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