we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
