please come you make the beer taste better
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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