I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
