I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
