he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize