I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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