The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Apparently you make a good broom.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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