i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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