just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
