It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize