He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
