she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize