Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
